BitterSweet Memories
Thursday, February 21, 2013 1:26 AM
在这里的我 会是最真实的我
我这个人 缺了许多安全感
我好怕失去 也玩不起一种游戏 － 也就是 爱情
对我而言，爱情是每一位女生梦里的 fairytale
一种可以成为了人生的一部分的 reality
爱情 应该是 完美的
爱情 应该是 信任的
爱情 应该是 充实的
爱情 应该是 公主遇见了白马王子 happy ending 的
有没有听说过 ：
' 当你爱上了 她／他 的时候，你所看见的全部都是 她／他 的完美。在你眼里， 她／他 会是最完整的一个人 也就说没人可取代 '
爱是盲目的嘛，没差吧 ～
我遇见的这个他 不是我曾经想像中的一个人
在他身上 我寻找了许多我认为是缺点的 而是 我想也想不通 我为何能包容？
我从来也学不会包容一些能破坏小女孩心目中梦里的白马王子呀
但他，我学会了！可是不是每次都会过得很好
应为他就像我心里的炸弹 随时会爆 但时间也不由我来决定
缺点多多的他 就只需要我一个理由而打败全部
那就是 有他在我身边 总是觉得有了安全感，有了温度，有了另一半
觉得很幸福 很幸福
字 总是形容不了那个情绪
而就应为了这个决定 我想相信 这个世界上会有奇迹
奇迹出现的那一天 会是我们快乐的第一步
我愿意去相信你，愿意付出一切 为你
x
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Saturday, November 10, 2012 10:55 PM
Day-by-day, time after time
I'm still very lost, very unconscious -.-
THIS IS SERIOUSLY GETTING VERY UPTIGHT 'n' MAINSTREAM x.x
'' What should I study? What will I become in the future? ''
I mean whatever you're studying now determines your future. Well I know not everyone comes out becoming what they actually learnt in educational level - their degree, master, phd or what-so-ever
I mean.. the very beginning! What should I even be pursue-ing in the first place ?
You know how it feels to study some course that suddenly strikes you to the STRESS POLE ?
Well.. it is not exactly difficult. Is just that, you don't feel comfortable somehow x.x
and then you have got this bloody big mouth to tell people & even to someone close to you.
and then the outcome you start receiving is 10 times worst of how you feel.
sometimes even by telling the closest one how you feel, doesn't help.
somehow they misunderstand your depression over being hot tempered x.x
n life just gets miserable !!
I used to get really uptight towards relationship sort of problems
sometimes I wonder, is there anything to do with my horoscope, my zodiac sign -.-
I always come up with problems for myself to trouble life
one after another one x.x
Well the great thing is.. I'm not into relationship problems now.
wouldn't that just mean I 'm starting to grow already? :) YAY me !
but seriously, standing in the position of not knowing what to study is WORST
Well, I know many teenagers like me would end themselves like me at one point
unless, they are 'much more a mature and knowing what they want to do' kind of people :O
so.. am I considered dumb?! well at a point, I do felt this way..
cause when people start asking you this ' what do you usually like to do? '
er.. watch hk drama, slack, sleep, shop? LOLL
isn't that what most teenagers love doing? THAT DOESN'T SUM UP WHAT I WANT TO STUDY -.-
headache to the max ;(
DESIGN?! is it my kind of thing?
or am I just having a problem with oversea teaching method @.@
sometimes you just feel like swiping the credit card for an airplane ticket back home
without telling anyone -.-
you just want to leave and stop all these problems !
I'm not trying to get away or tries to avoid problems
is just I hate studying it x.x oh wells, I don't know what to say more =.=
x
If I didn't made the decision, I wouldn't ended up being like this
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Saturday, November 3, 2012 8:44 AM
Stressing over what to study -.-
Is actually not something that I should really be thinking of right now
because... I just freaking started my course x.x Damn !
I feel so stress lately.. I mean the study part, the career part
other than that, life being alone here is absolutely great :) especially with a bunch of happy people :)
sigh !! WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO BE NEXT TIME?
I want to know an exact career for myself :O ZOMG :(
beh tahan this feeling..
Feels as if Im wasting a lot of money & being very naive to do all this :(
Am I still being childish to not think properly :(
I really don't want to make anybody disappointed ;( really don't want !
But I don't know what to choose and I'm afraid I'll be ending up sad like this =.=
OMG ! oh god, please let me know what am I destined to?
I need a fucking realistic career test weih -.- whatthebbqfuck -.-
x
SAVE MEEEEEEE ;(
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Monday, October 15, 2012 5:48 AM
I was all healthy back then ~
& then.. -.- I'm falling sick the very next day
All thanks to my fellow classmates -.-'
slept for exactly 12 hours last night LOLLL
I HATE MY FUCKING NOSE N THROAT ;(
n my EYES.. it feels as if it's going to pop out :S
n my EYES.. it feels as if it's going to pop out :S
Falling sick all alone in an unknown part of the world
OMG ! I swear.. It's never a good thing. You have to wake up to make your own freaking lunch -.-
haihz. life. life. life. life BULL-crap ;(
somebody heal me :/
I'm so bored right now. feeling so lethargic :O
this is going to be so random but somehow it just pops out my head
''maybe in life, you don't need to hold a grudge onto your past'
what's over is done ! there's no use of keeping the strength to be angry at it
well, everything happens for a reason (no..?)
*I don't even have the bloody energy to be angry anymore at this point of time*
sneezing all the way *ah chooooo* :P
I mean.. we can always turn things down when everything's alright :) (yea ~ ONLY WHEN EVERYTHING's ALRIGHT)
Friends? sound pretty cool this time :):)
just hope I don't change my mind :/ you know.. girls? funny lil creature LOL
am I backstabbing my own sex? -.- wtf.
by somehow, if you do still land yourself here.. this is for you :)
x
this time.. this post is particular for you. half of them, I mean :/
no misunderstandings :) 20.09.2009 :)
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Saturday, October 13, 2012 6:00 AM
It has been a month living in UK :O
Well time is really flying ~
It's not that bad living alone in another part of the world
Something really different, something you would learn from
Everything is great ! Well, one thing is nobody is there to nag, to limit you
No barrier or restriction or what-so-ever :)
Well, surprisingly MY THE ONLY ACCOMMODATION has got something so called Morning call
sigh right ! -.- how on Earth did they think of such a thing x.x
The worst part for everything is needing to be awake by 7.30 am EVERY MORNING
just to attend the freaking 8.45 am English class -.- wtf !
Gosh ! I'm so zombi-fied :(
Everything is pretty alright besides that ;)
Get bored at times but all is well
x
Nothing beats your own country :)
Yay Malaysia :D
I'm so craving for FOOD :)
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Sunday, September 30, 2012 5:45 PM
It's been exactly a week of being ALONE in a new town
First time being away from home felt awful :/
As time pass, it gets a lil better day-by-day
Well, this lil girl gotta learn what the hell 'independent' is all about yea..? ;)
Oh gosh, never mention about washing your cooking dishes especially when it get stuck on your pot -.-
Or even reminding yourself all about your dirty clothes x.x sigh !
I think I'll get the hang of it soon, I supposed :}
I miss my family members, my friends, my doggie & ahem ahem ;(
Felt so warmed back then.. now, not mentioning about the weather here, but being
all alone here is SO NOT WARM -.- much more like a retard x.x
I never get the point of walking down town all by yourself -.- *nuisance*
Tomorrow shall be the start of my course.. hopefully, wishing up upon the
stars that I'll meet tons of friends.
NO ! I DON'T WANT TO BE LONELY LIKE WHAT-THE-CRAP x.x
how on earth you live in this world so called the Earth by yourself ;(
BABY !! Will all this be working out? :/
I miss you so much ;( boohoo-hoo
I just want an ordinary life, no more complexity in what-so-ever
Keep cool n cool down :)
x
I love all of you :)
all the way from the UK, Cambridge LOLL
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Sunday, September 23, 2012 7:10 AM
Have you ever thought of loving someone till your guts could literally blow up? LOL ! I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say but like .. Sigh ! Sometimes you just need that few accompaniment to feel satisfied but somehow it fails you. Going off, leaving me dangling? Zzz -.-
Now I'm having the urge to choke someone off their throat :/ seriously, I don't see the initiative in you to even TRY getting a chance to somehow inform or tell me. Well, at least a goodnight or something? -.- feels as if my existent seems to be very see through, invisible is the other word for it. LOL ! Bloody hell -.-
Now I'm having a hard time trying to fall asleep. Because of...? You? I don't know! Whatever 'la'.. Haha !! My Malaysian accent LOL ! Gagaga ~ yawns.. Goodnight peeps!
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Sunday, September 16, 2012 5:41 PM
Landed my second day in London :O was that quick or not?
Well, it's pretty alright here especially being able to get all those fresh juicy fruits *yum* ;)
hmm.. hopefully my hostel would look good n feel good as well :S
or I'll be crying all the way for 9 freaking months .. boohoo !! =X
I miss my baby so so so much.
I'm not really sure if this is working out but hopefully it would :/
Let's just hope I don't get any of the sudden ignore action anymore :S sigh !!
Pretty lame feeling thou x.x
I wonder what is he up to at the moment :(
BABY !! I need you =O :*
x
you never know your future
it just keeps changing
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Friday, August 24, 2012 12:50 AM
LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
DISTANCE SHOULD NEVER GET IN THE WAY OF A RELATIONSHIP. THE BEST KIND OF LOVE WASN'T MADE TO BE EASY. WHEN YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEONE, DISTANCE MEANS NOTHING. ♥
x
let's just hope our sort of distance isn't keep us apart :(
i miss you like crazy
boy, I love you so
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Wednesday, August 22, 2012 12:37 AM
First Love ?
You're not the first and I know you'll not be my last.
unless miracles by somehow at somewhere do exist in us
but you'll always remain in my heart and will always do
I may be naive. I may be stupid.
I know how everyone of us would blab around promising something
I was once the person thinking that I can never forget about my ex and would love him forever.
Somehow, things start fading. Fading to a point that not even a drop appears anymore.
In short, you just got yourself replaced with my past.
Although we may not share the love we used to, but I know you'll always remain deep in me.
There's something in you that is unforgettable.
You're playful yet very sweet indeed.
You're always busy but you took the initiative to accompany me every time.
I'm thankful to have you when my life was in a mess.
Well, truthfully, you're a sucker to enlighten my day when I get moody ..
but you are certainly a great accompaniment :)
x
i.love.you and i.miss.you
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