这个的结束 是我们人生的开始 

这一次 并不是 不爱了

来来去去转了好几个圈 可是 ‘曾经拥有’ 的感觉已经足够了

那 一个月多的爱 你所给的 一定会永远在我心里

好难的寻找了对的人 却不能拥有 ‘好可喜’

是命中注定 或我们所谓的考验 是现在的关键开始呢？

我不懂... 也不想懂了

你是我唯一 能令我 加速心跳 睡不着觉

满脑都 只有你

我很了解你现在的情况

就让我的悲伤换来你的快乐 幸福好了

我没那么伟大 也不是因为我长大了

只是觉得 这样是我能想到最好的办法去爱你

你的决定 也许让我学会了 ‘不是每个结束 都该是痛苦的’

x

不是不爱 而是不能够

永远爱你的林素卉 :)

Well just another random day, I supposed?

I used to looking forward into every upcoming Friday

because it is basically the only day in the entire week that I get to meet you

Get to hold you, get to touch you, get to tease you, get to hug you, get to kiss that adorable soft lips of yours, get to do silly stuffs with you

Never thought that day was the last of the last

Now.. it doesn't seems that way anymore

Every Friday that pops up reminds me on how week-by-week I'm losing contact with you

It's heartbreaking yet I don't know what to say

You left me with good/bad thoughts

All that I'm receiving is lies you're trying to cover up

The truth that I need to know, that you need to let me know

I'm really surprised to receive a text message from you trying to 'sort of' cheer me up 

when my baby little doggie (Gucci) passed away ;( 

Thank you so much.. I really needed that from you

Now as I'm thinking of how my act became when I lose you.. I feel really messed up

Somehow I seem to less interact with people.. I don't have the tendency to PRETEND TO SMILE

I'm so tired as if I broke down ;( 

somehow I wonder what are you really feeling the moment I crawl myself up on bed and tear.. 

at times, I just need to cure myself by saying : I'm just your random passer-by

The way you're treating me right now .. is not wrong

A girl like me shouldn't feel any comfort in life

A girl like me shouldn't get any extra sweetening in life

A girl like me is not worthy to have anything

YES, my uncertainty is bombarding my world again..

and this time, it hits real hard

Only because of you, I've tried doing things that I never imagined I would

x

maybe this is an unfinished love

Now I wish I am your memory card reader

so that I could read what your mind is thinking ;(

Something that you're thinking but you're not willing to let me know :(

I MISS YOU LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHAT

CAN GO INSANE SO SOON ;(

I wish you would sneak up behind me, whisper in my ear, and tell me..
you were just testing how much I'm into you.

sigh ! :'(

x

please come back to me :(

i'm feeling really miserable.. really.. really this time :(

It's Day Five of Depression ;(

I'm still left dangling with mixed feelings.

Somehow I wish to know what you're really thinking

but by somewhere.. some bits.. I'm afraid to find out the ugly truth.

The truth that I don't wish to listen

The truth that I don't wish to know

I'm blinded by love and I can't bare with it right now

I kept trying to forget

but I never thought your existence and importance to me gradually increase

I get sleepless night.. trying to forget is never a good idea

because the more I try, I more I fall

'I told you not to ignore me when I start fallen in love. It just gets harder for things to fall apart.'

I never thought this time, by trying to forget, I can even see you in my dream

They say if you dream of someone, that someone might be thinking of you

Is it true? Then why are you ignoring? :(

I don't know when you're ignoring.. are you feeling happy or are you suffering like me?

I miss you so much that my heart keeps pumping so loudly.

TOLD YOU ! I HATE JULY SINCE 2009 !!

JULY IS NEVER MY MONTH !! ;(

Everything bad just has to fall on the month of July -.-

In this moment of truth, at this point of time,

I can really tell that I can no longer feel the happiness that I would love to live in.

Although things has not officially put to an end but the way I'm being treated already showed.

I can't blame you for anything because I knew this would happen.. just not that quick.

I knew I don't belong to such a comfort zone with you.

I'm paranoid.. I'm afraid to lose you.

I wanted to mention it to you but somehow I held back.

somehow I felt like the quote ' pouring salt onto my injured wound '

I lose my appetite, I lose my smile, I lose my everything

It's been such a long time since I felt this way.

But this time, it's just not the same; it felt as if I can't go back to the how I used to be.

I didn't know how things could dramatically change in just the next.

Sometimes I really wonder if my act ever done wrong?

or was it that I could never receive the happiness that I hope for?

or is it that I was meant to receive them and then get bashed down to hell?

sigh ! No longer the happy girl and wouldn't want to even be anymore

I guess it causes lesser pain, I guess by this way, I wouldn't receive any hopes.

It was my freedom to fall for you. why did you come to me?

but never regretted knowing you and your existence in my life.

because in just a short period of time, I really enjoyed myself.

you showed me what's possible in impossible.

x

i love you

Four mandarin words best describe my feelings

心烦意乱

心烦意乱

心烦意乱

心烦意乱

心烦意乱

心烦意乱

心烦意乱

心烦意乱

心烦意乱

Maybe it isn't even enough to describe how I feel

Having butterfly feelings in my tummy (but this is not a feeling whereby you feel good)

somehow feel just like you can't sit quietly

I just feel like sleeping for eternity -.- HIBERNATE for the rest of my life and not wake up !

x

SHITS just fallen on you once again ! 

girl, you suck like SHIT ! you're hopeless, I swear x.x

Everything seems good.

Everything seems pretty perfect.

I have no idea what happened the next and the next and another next !

This time, the feeling ain't the same no more.

I know I've lost my security long ago but still, I wish to fight it for you.

This time, this moment, at this point.. I have no idea what I can say more.

My heart is screaming yet not much tears is coming around.

It felt worst than the ones that I thought was stronger.

But this time, this is even stronger than before.

A feeling that I never felt before; something really new to me.

Your heart just felt frustrated and your mind keeps running.

I'm exhausted ! I just can't stop thinking.

Well I guess it's true when they say ''you let your emotion goes over your mind easily''

Sigh ! I seriously have no idea what I can do more. 

Sometimes it felt worst than a toy but I never regretted knowing you.

I never just want to be yours but I want to be your closest.

The one that you can count on. The one you can release just everything to.

I may not be a good talk-er but I can be a good listener.

I want to be your listener, your burden release-r.

I hate it when all I see is your cool face.

I hate it when you start ignoring and face everything all by yourself.

Are you having a difficulty to solve everything because you love me or was it all just a lie?

I LOVE YOU, truly.

x

please make the heart feels how it used to be

i.miss.you