Three Words For ME

I HATE MYSELF

I hate the part that I care too much

I hate the part that I always over think

I hate the part that I get all emotional too quickly

I hate the part that I just lose control out of the blues

The moment I stay calm in my bed facing the ceiling, I can feel tears running down slope

I know I shouldn't be feeling this way, after all it was a choice not a meant to be

A game that I thought worth trying, worth risking, worth playing for

but it is definitely not the right game for me because it bombards me with many doubts in mind

I feel the insecurity and lack of respect (well not respect.. just.. i don't really know how to put this)

''Well, I deserve someone better''

pfft !! I don't see myself as great as getting along with that phrase.

I'm beyond imperfections

Cried a rivers, so what? Tears can't get things any better

You know what I hate? Is that I don't feel being something !!

I don't even understand or even realize in knowing who I am? 

how am I suppose to get to you ? being as ?

I don't have a thick skin because all that I know, I'll just get down to business - being emotional.

Even if you're going to be there for me. They ain't real, they ain't something I should feel.

I just wonder how could I ever make the mistake after one another.

I should have already known the truth, the circumstances, the everything.

But feelings can't be denied. And I'm really scared that I might feel what I shouldn't have.

x

sigh