BitterSweet Memories
Monday, May 30, 2011 9:54 PM
You're the subject to my heart
I'm never good in structuring and phrasing my words. And that leads me to death when I'm trying to describe how I feel for you. It's not the kind of death which you think it is. A kind that comes in two possibilities. Good and bad ones, of course. The bad one is that I can't seem to express and tell exactly how much I feel for you, how much you meant to me. I'm sure by saying ' you meant a lot to me ' is not going to help as far as I concern, yea? It's that something that cut off every bit of my feelings to you. On the other hand, it felt really sweet on the inside knowing how much exactly I feel. How much I feel, how much you meant, how much you tend to stick up into my head. An indescribable feeling. Pretty much that way. I guess I pretty much understand what you're worrying for me. You questioned me with all the if's and maybe what I felt from your care was real. I'm not any different from who I used to be but that doesn't mean that I can't handle what I couldn't have back then. You tend to understand me more than anyone could besides my family. And I shall say; you were right. were and not are anymore. I used to be a girl that needs a guy by my side for like 24 hours. I guess that describes everything about me. After what I've been through, you and I were actually wrong in defining the word love relationship. A relationship isn't just about the kisses, the hugs or anything like that. It's not a need or an emotion to it. It's not the extra accessories in lives. It is the feeling that touches your heart. It is the feelings that you have no choice but to give up, but you realize that you can give up on everything but not this - the feeling you're having inside. It felt as if it's irreplaceable. I know I keep questioning myself this : what do you have in you that I'm in love with? and I know it starts to bore people away. Apparently, you fill up my empty heart. You make my heart have premature ventricular contractions. More like, you make my heart skip a beat. You're the subject to my heart.
x
making my heart dance under the purple rain
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