BitterSweet Memories
Sunday, May 29, 2011 1:30 AM
Trying so hard and I fail
how impressive is that
I've been up all night staring at the stars, seeing image of you. I'm wondering what's on your mind right now when I knew, I'm definitely not part of it. Maybe by not asking you, there's still bits of hope knowing maybe, well, I might be in it. Who knows, yea? I've been like this so many times before but this feels like the first time. A routine that keeps coming back by itself. I want to forget everything, forget about you, as if I've never agreed with anything with you in the very beginning. But.. I want to make you smile. I want to make you laugh. I want to hear your voice. I want to comfort you. I want to know how are you doing there. I want to at least picture you in my head even if I can't see you that often anymore, not even through our advance newest technology. I want you happy. And it starts hurting me. I felt as though I'm some busybody trying to fix everything up, trying to build you up, thinking I'm capable in doing so, when I know I'm a nobody at this stage. I feel left out, I felt ignored, I felt so much like a dumpster, have you noticed that? I feel so lonely at night [God knows why] and I always wish to ring you up but I'm always afraid to know your reaction. I'm scared of the way you'll treat me, the way you'll be going to respond to my words, the way when your coolness strike upon you. GOSH! :( But I can't do anything about it when feelings start stacking and invading me. It gets back to me every time and it fails my memory. && it's enough for today.
Goodnight peeps !
x
oi oi time
and if you ever wonder what is that; it means sleep in baby language :}
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