BitterSweet Memories
Thursday, December 30, 2010 7:18 PM
Girls are much more than what they seem.
They're more than just the makeup, the clothes, the shoes, the bags, the sunglasses, the outside.
They're more than just whiny bitches. We're so much more.
Too bad some boys can't understand. A girl's life is a bitch itself.
On a daily basis we deal with bitches, backstabbers, lies, boyfriends, crushes, exes, appearance, insecurity, bullying and so much more.
Everyday we wake up, we have to shower, fix our hair. Then, we have to get dressed.
We spend hours infront of our mirror for you, making sure we look good.
While doing all this, there's so much to consider. Especially gossipers and guys.
If something's too short, they'll call us a whore.
If something's too long, they'll call us ugly.
We go through buckets full of ice cream because we've had way too many broken hearts.
We cry because bitches wanna hate and boyfriends wanna bitch.
We can't complain because we don't wanna be annoying.
We trust people, then they end up stabbing us in the back. We learn stuff the hard way.
Every guy out there making a period joke, like are you for real?
No, just because you're being a little bitch and pissing me off doesn't mean I'm on my period.
Get over it !
We get hurt multiple times, and keep running back to the same people.
We love hard, and hurt hard. We care too much. We're never understood.
We go through so much trouble when you don't even notice.
We listen to songs till five in the morning and fall asleep to it just because it reminds us of you.
We spill our guts out to our best friends who've probably had enough of you.
We go on facebook and we check your profile a million times, and go through all your pictures,
even if we have seen them all before.
We hear what people say about us, and sometimes we break inside.
But no matter what, even after everything, we have to come out strong.
We have to put a big smile on our faces and pretend like everything's ok.
We have to act nice towards the haters, even knowing everything that they said about us.
We love even though we know we shouldn't.
And we wait for something that'll never happen.
But no matter what, we manage to act like everything's fine, even though everything's falling apart. That's a day in a girl's life. Imagine dealing with all that everyday.
We're so much more than what you think, so much more than what we seem.
x
Girls ain't as simple as you guys think
We are one of your least expectation in lives (:
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1:57 PM
Okay let's see, where do I begin ?
.1.
You were one of the very few people that I can truly believe in, trust is the word for it. You're really amazing just the way on how you had ever treated me. People could really see happiness in us. You're extremely special to me in every way I observe, I swear. You never failed to put in all your hopes in me to build up my emotions. You were truly a darling, a very sweet loving darling indeed. You treated me as though I was a little princess or even as young as a new born baby. You once put in your love and care into this relationship, I trust you did. It was really sweet of you. You never failed to make me believe in forever for the both of us. I knew forever exist at that time ! You were one of my greatest achievement in desiring you the most. You kept me wanting you even more cause you're truly tempting. It was really tempting to hear your voice, to look at you, to hug you and to have those ever candid kisses. Your love was truly indescribable - words can never say as much as I feel myself. There were never an ending in the words we wished to express to each other cause there were always so much things to be spilt when I see you standing in front of me. It isn't an illusion, it's true and it's definitely real. I love the way on how you protected and provided me with all the care I needed when I was facing problems. I felt the warmth and of course the sincere heart you were giving in. It's like sitting near the fireplace when it's winter. You're cozy, if you ever really knew what my feelings held for you from the beginning.
Devotion was the right word for us.
.2.
You were rather a stranger to me. Never knew you existed around the corner. I guess nothing sparkles when depression occurs. You stepped into the life that you shouldn't had in the first place. It was a big mistake but of course it isn't that big, I suppose. You were the biggest comfort that I found that work ! What I'm trying to say is that you were the only person that I find myself not bothering everything around me when I had you. You may say I'm naive but you were one of the few people that I believe in. Although I never knew you for a year or even for half a year, but you provided me the sense of protection. You made me seems alive when everything seems wrong, turning upside down. Even for a second, you could take away my lunatic misery that keeps running through my veins. You're somehow irresistible to me. You got yourself special to my life, my world of living. You're truly sweet especially those words coming out from you. I guess that makes people fall in love with you easily. You made it seems as though you're the honey and I'm the bee. You made my life seems perfect with no doubts at all. The voice of your tune made me amaze, really tempting as well. The first touch on my cheeks was really epically sweet and funny in a way. Never knew someone would actually have so much things in common as I do. It was rather surprising but I love how the way it is. It was a huge bummer to know everything that is happening now.
x
you broke the heart
i.held.a.true.feeling.everytime
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Tuesday, December 28, 2010 12:12 PM
So true and I agree ;)
Not that your number is unique, easy to be remembered or what-so-ever ...
I guess it's basically because of the 3 3 7 2 2 letters ...
'' You Are Special To Me ''
... just as simple as that ;)
The thing is, I'm not going to stick there cause I'm trying to stop myself from being relying
I want to have something different in me
I wish to play every role that you and I can't expect
Just so you know, you'll always be left in my mind, heart and soul
You'll never leave those places cause you left them there and I'll keep them safe there
The reason is : Only you can hold onto my heart to keep them away from breaking apart even more
You be the lock and I'll be the key ? ♥
x
Hellyeah
the truth to be said
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Monday, December 27, 2010 1:13 PM
Life, these days, are like blocks of train living in your heart having some race marathon
over and over again
Not going to care, not going to bother
because I know it's just in the wrong timing (:
You agreed, I agreed too ♥
Let's just meet in some other time, some other time when things would work out
I want to be the happiest girl on Earth, the jolly and cheery one
and you know it best like I do
Complete me some other day, stupid (:
I no longer wish to live in a simple life, but all I want now is to live in the most complex way of life
'cause I'm sick of all the simple thoughts that's in my head like a little princess
Easy come easy go
That's the way how it should be ;)
[I'll always be the happy little girl whenever you wanna talk things out, as promised]
x
I never break my promise
Pinky swear ;)
lovelove
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Sunday, December 26, 2010 5:10 PM
When darkness starts bombarding life
When everything around you seems dark
as if a sudden blackout has occurred,
When everything seems wrong and nothing gets any better,
Whenever you put your hopes high and everything ended,
When life turns upside down, inside out,
When all you feel is heartache and not even a single bit of being happy,
When everything you've thought would happen but seems to get strike out one by one,
When you're feeling messed up every single day not knowing why,
When everyone knows there's unlimited oxygen in the air but all you could breathe in is as much as 0.05%,
When you tend to get nightmares every sleepless night,
When you keep having the feeling of being lonely as though nobody cares, just wishing to crawl up into one,
Whenever you wished upon the stars and pray hard for something you ever wished for
but nothing seems to come true,
Remember there will always be a ray of white light shining from somewhere
Shining right to your world
though you may only see it white, but rainbow colors shine as the truth
Knowing life would still consist of that much of hope, even if all you left is 0.000001%
Believe that in every nightmares, soon you'll receive some dreams
just like the discovery of rainbow after a heavy, stormy rain
Keep trusting in what you believe and what you ever care and love for
Promise yourself to not lie to yourself for the truth you're grabbing on the inside
Hold onto what life's meant to be, what life should be as
Nobody ever said life's would be easy but nobody ever said we should live life in a complicated manner
Life may be dull at times and sometimes blasting with colors
Isn't that what that makes up life so special to us, to be far more unique than what we've thought of?
to be really really interesting for us to have a reason to stay alive to live with it
So why not enjoy life to the fullest
Doing things that you wished because human being are never made perfect
Never ever learnt to be right at all times and never born to be tied up to someone at such young age
Live.Play.Experience.Discover.Adventure
and your true love will appear before you even know it
x
It's all about you, me and us
All about life
[love you]
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Friday, December 24, 2010 10:46 PM
HEARTACHE
during christmas hour
o u x q l p i p h g o i d a s s y t u w q f e
i f r t s h a p e u x f h w l a i p o u a u o
f r h i y e w z x g p l j e q w f r u z s l o
u w a p i w f m i x a p y r i i x a g j p q u
o f w r y u q s c g i t p w s l i a e g u i o
a x w e r y o u a r e s p e c i a l o u f c s
p o t u g h k s w t n m p o t k n g e u n o
v m l p d k g j o i w q j o y t y n d p e d i
i m l t i u b d g h e t o p m d a s l p o e u
c o l m h e u b m d b b s o p t y u i f g k a
p m l t o i m f e c o e g w s m l t p r i u o
x
my puzzle world
christmas this year is not merry - frowny christmas
don't say hello to tell goodbye (;
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4:41 PM
Honestly this is the truth
Your freaking long essay is annoying
Stop repeating yourself
I listen or I don't is up to me, I do it my way
You're there telling me that you are trying to protect him -.-
Why didn't you try protecting him and started loving him even deeper in the first place
If that happened, he wouldn't be out there wondering about to flirt around
and bumped into such an unlucky girl - ME ?
You kept saying is our fault, our fault. Then what about you ?
You asked me to think before I do something
Look for yourself !
The truth ? o.O ?
Individually,
I was just trying to seek happiness and he was too when he was upset and all
We didn't know things would spark between us and started this up right ?
I know he didn't wish this to happen and neither do I
I'm not saying all the faults are pointing at you because I see things in different perspective
You may just see it in one way as 'his' but I don't
If he were to be happy with you, he wouldn't do such a thing or ... is he just a player?
I doubt he would be one, and as for you, you wouldn't say he's one too right?
You kept saying you believed and want even a little faith in him
I understand what you're trying to say but are you doing that after all, like seriously?
Because I don't see that coming in. If you have faith in him, you would trust him.
I know protecting a relationship is not easy, definitely not especially for a girl
but you kept saying he loves you, he loves you, one and only you
then he wouldn't do this to you, right?
I'm nothing to him, you say. maybe you are right and maybe you are not.
I don't know, but it is definitely what he told you and which guy would ever say yes?
Girl, you're just afraid to lose him in a whole
why not try letting him see for himself how great you are to him, how important you are still for him?
let him discover what he really wants inside, I guess he's clueless inside for now
guess what he really need is some space for himself
He doesn't want to let go due to the long relationship but inside is it true?
Is he happy ? I hope he is .
I don't know, maybe I'm just wrong.
I'm not telling you what to do, I'm just trying to say something. lol
x
hope I'm not harsh in this
If I am, I'm sorry
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10:41 AM
说的话都不知道是否是对或错的
心乱乱的，跳的超快的
现在的心情谁会了解？只是神吗？
如果自己能帮的了自己，我都不许要依靠啊
我跟不许要过这种不该过的生活，已经半年了，半年了！
也许你说的对，我真真的爱上了他
我不知道他有没有爱我，真真的感觉只有他才董
爱不多，爱不少，也是一种爱
当女子最脆弱的时候，心 却很容易被打动
这也不是我想要的啊，楚楚只是以为有人送上门要安慰我
那不是认识多个朋友，聊聊一下心事，那都不是一个错误来的啊 ... 但慢慢不知不觉就发出火花了
我都不知道为何。脑袋里根本就不会乱想当和他说话，真的！
呼吸都很难，没你就像没空气一样
呼吸都很难，没你就像没空气一样
没参经想要破坏你们两个之间的爱情，但是已经到了这个地步，我都不知道该说些什么了
爱情为何那么奇妙啊？说好了都能反复，反复到我自己都不知道站在那里
好像迷路了一样，也像发了一场恶梦 不过又会觉得有点加上点甜 － 甜蜜中带来一点苦吗？
你会害怕失去，我也会 ... 现在我一点安全感都没了
算了，如果会回来的，那就是我的 如果不会就 bye bye
希望 bye bye 是容易的
如果他参经会了解女孩脆弱的心情
x
这是爱或是恋爱
超级无聊的心
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2:17 AM
Pain, Hurt, Depress, Emo
all comes in one package just like in sale
Have you felt that pain that comes running through your veins?
Have you felt the hurt that keeps following you around stabbing right into your heart?
Have you seriously tried being real depress till you have got no sense of direction?
Have you gotten real emo till you felt like dying like for real?
Have you?
Do you wish to try some?
I don't mind sharing because I wished to get rid of them !
I may be tough and happy on the outside
What's on the inside, have you thought of it?
I'm not exactly what you think I am and I can't imagine it myself
Cause it hurts just in every bit
I'm a big fan in love, I seriously am. No doubts.
I'm not trying to emphasize saying that I'm obsess in a way, is just that I fantasize everything to be perfect and happy
Isn't that what all girls wished to have ?
Why must you spill and spoils everything that I've been dreaming all along ?
Is it even wrong to love someone ? There's no restriction saying you can't go for them.
Do they ?
Why must I be hurt one after another? Is there words written on my face saying : HURT ME ? Am I the alternative to be hurt? Is it such a nice game to play on me?
What the hell did I do to deserve such punishment? I did no crime. Karma? What bullshits ?!
If you guys think that the word FORGET is easy to be done
then go ahead try being dumped by the one you love or having to receive things that you are afraid to receive the next day without notice like seriously
You would just feel like jumping down from a building
You may say how does that worth the death. But have you thought about how uncontrollable a feeling could turn out to be when you're totally blanked out
How great would that be if 'forget' is similar as clicking the delete button on your keyboard or erasing it with your eraser or even liquid paper things you don't want
I'm not heartless and I do not have the courage to do so
I do not just forget with just a blink of an eye not because I don't want, is just that I'm born not being capable in doing so. I'm a dumbo in this, I agree !!
Sometimes how I wish I was a cruel, heartless person
not caring and not having to bother about anything only about myself
not being able to be hurt like a doll
because my heart is not a toy, it is alive and it has complex feelings
It shatters and I don't want it to shatter even further more cause I do not know how to stitch it back
My heart says things that doesn't matches my mind
Simply because I have a very fragile heart that holds onto things easily
I do not go for things that doesn't come to me, but when it does, I hold on to it real tightly
I may once learnt how to let go but I seriously forgot about it
because I believe that it no longer exist in me and I shall live in a happy life
I swear
I didn't expect things to be that complicated, to be so depressing
When I tear up, I do seriously mean what I feel because it had became part of me
and seriously, I'm SO-NOT-A-CRY-BABY, that's why
All I want is a sincere loving heart, a love that lasts as I find you nice
You entered my life by all means
It was fated for you to step into this broken paradise to heal me
To cure my heart ache, my broken heart
You're a good listener, a good one indeed
The one that I could totally forget unhappiness as I talk with you
Isn't that how you feel too?
People may think I'm a total bitch, but in different perspective, I believe things happen for a reason
and in different perspective, it isn't what you ever wished to do so
Some things are fated and are not controllable
I go on a happy track just to keep myself safe on the happiness route
I'm sure that's what you would have done if it happens on you
Don't deny because you've never really tried the taste of real depression in life.
x
Goodbye and Goodnight
Enough for a day
[Keep smiling whenever you are not]
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Thursday, December 23, 2010 12:46 PM
You know the world can see us in a way, that's different than who we are
Creating space between us till we're separate hearts
But your faith, it gives me strength.
The strength to believe.
If we're trying, there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach.
It's funny when you find yourself looking from the outside
I'm standing here, but all I want is to be over there
I like the view when I'm with you
Confused my feelings with the truth but I know everything was the truth
I swore I knew the melody that I heard you singing
And when you smiled, you made me feel
like I could sing along
I miss you more than words could describe
It's like asking you to describe someone you love
It's like a never ending description but yet you don't wish to not say anything
Just a simple ' I miss you :( '
Something's missing because the world no longer spins
the Sun no longer shines,
the birds tune no longer enlightens me and the song of the world means nothing to me
as you're somewhere far but closer than you can think of
cause love is a funny thing, that I've told you
♡
I do, honestly
I 'four letters' you
in a good way
♡
P/s : Dreams are not only meant for sleeping because you brought dreams as real as reality, I found
x
Mood Swings during the noon
Epic Phail
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11:14 AM
Things just get funnier and funnier because I :
☛ Smile whenever I'm not ☚
☛ Laugh whenever I'm not ☚
☛ Be Happy whenever I'm not ☚
so how is it not getting funnier as days passed ?
I'm not immune to pains and hurtful words
so keep the lips of yours sealed :/
it-kills-to-hear
(it's not even surprised to see it because of six sense neither to yea, that person)
you.buat.kacau.untuk.dia.saja
nawwh :')
Stop commanding 'people' to do whatever 'they' don't wish to do
Are you happy that way, you tell me.
You want your life to be leaded?
Listen to your heart closely and see where it leads you to.
Years don't matter, months don't matter, days don't matter nor even minutes and seconds
Look for the complains you've made
Please be happy because I want you n me to be happy (:
as
CHRISTMAS IS COMING TO TOWN ♥
*jingle bell - jingle bell - jingle all the way*
*I love pink, fuckyeahpink ;)*
* I just think of you *
* you believe *
* I believe *
*smile*
x
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Wednesday, December 22, 2010 9:21 PM
★ Wishing upon the star ★
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds and violet haze
I'm wishing upon the star for everything to swirl around with happiness
Be there to strike down the complication one after another one
as you're the reason for everything ☆
Today's wishlist
♥ Wish you could screw out the frustration and feel better (: ♥
x
✱ I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight ✱
[P/s: painted my nails red and pink with each letter on each fingernails - ChRiStMaS :P]
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3:36 PM
Love, you make my heart pound, my head spin and my mind to flutter.
Finding that one person you want to be with 'forever'. The person who
in time will become your best friend, your everything; you'll realize that
that person is your soulmate and you can't imagine a day without them in your life.
Mary-go-round
Love makes the ride worthwhile
Pinky promise
I'll be waiting (: Still am waiting (: *not giving up**ah-hah*
Love, I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold and it feels like the end
I'll be there, be there for you
There's nothing you could say, nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know I'm always here for you
Hear me when I say when I say, I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever is meant to be will work out perfectly
or else, we wouldn't be able to meet each other ♥
x
He Ate My Heart :} ♥
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Monday, December 20, 2010 10:17 PM
It's has been a long long time, is it that long?
I guess days have became years or shall I say decades?
Baby fragrance, baby fragrance
you are the only exception
... and you're perfect just the way you are (:
I'm not a perfect girl.
My hair doesn't always stay in place and
I spill things a lot. I'm pretty clumsy and
sometimes I have a broken heart.
My friends and I sometimes fight and
maybe some days nothing goes right.
but when I think about it and take a step back
I remember how amazing life truly is
and that maybe. just maybe. I like being
imperfect...
♥ Imperfect you + Imperfect me = Imperfectly perfect us ♥
I'll always be there.
In times of trouble,
In times of need,
If you're feeling sad
You can always count on me.
I'll give you a wink until you smile.
Give you a hug and stand by you
and the next thing you know... everything is just fine (:
*smile baby fragrance*
x
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Friday, December 17, 2010 12:45 AM
My heart is beating quick and I'm scared
I'm really scared, only God knows what
I'm praying hard on my bed for everything to get better, to feel better
I wish I could hear your voice every night before I go to bed
Your voice put me to deep sleep
Your voice relaxes my mind
Your voice can stop all the mess
Your voice is better than the best addiction, if I were to grade them
I swear
Baby, I need protection from you.
x
Unstable Feeling
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Thursday, December 16, 2010 10:55 PM
Shop till you broke?
This is beyond expectation but yet you've gotta believe it
I mean, seriously it's possible !
Shopping is so fun !
You don't have to care about anything and just feel free
exceptional for the cash you're having in your purse ;)
This is one of the best satisfaction ever
Got almost everything from the top down to the toe *wootz*
I bet it'll be even better if I were to have more CASH (:
or should I say, not having to bother about my brother's birthday gift
It took away half of the cash I had :(
Just hope he likes it or else dayumm !!
Got carried away every time I see stuffs that caught my eyes
I guess these are just natural existence in almost every girls
or is it just me? *tongue out*
x
I miss you fragrance baby (:
xoxo
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4:02 AM
Yea.. It's like 4 AM, not that I woke up at this time.
Is just that I'm not asleep yet?
And you could just hear somebody screaming besides your ear saying 'It's late' !
How's that even possible when it's like EARLY (:
And when I say I'm an early person, I really do mean what I say.
I guess insomnia strikes your mind when there's all mind-set saying its holiday and therefore sleep late, or shall I say early? *tongues out*
This is totally, definitely not a good thing :( and this is what you get : -
1. Eyebags
2. Pimples
3. More pimples
4. Not enough sleep (FYI, there's always disturbance around the corner)
5. Restless
6. You tend to greet people morning when it's already noon -.-
7. Eating breakunch ? 2 in 1 ?
8. Wasted half of your day? (not exactly right.. Idk)
9. More shit loads of pimples again
10. You bloody become fugly :(
Yawns :O
Better get going before garfield becomes prettier than YOU *wink*
Better get going before garfield becomes prettier than YOU *wink*
Goodbye and Goodnight
x
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1:04 AM
I hate this feeling right here
It feels really complicated yet empty
Something's missing and I found my happiness drowning
My heart is aching bit by bit
Tearing drop by drop
But still, not knowing what's up with my mind
I have no idea and I have got no clue
It feels exhausted knowing that the system is about to shut down automatically
without any further notice
Everything, surrounding seems dull
The lips just frown and never gets apart of wanting to even say a word
The eyes just keep staring at words I don't see
One blink at a time, and that's it
Nothing wonderful it felt, nothing unique it seems
It felt as if I'm fading away
Nothing I wish to do now but just wish to lay my head on your chest, putting my hands around your neck
hearing those beats quietly without a single word
Those heart beats of yours that would soothe the mood
I believe it would, because I treasure you as my piece of art
A most perfect and unique piece of art
x
mood swings strike the night
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